Recently, I have been struggling with “keeping up” with, well, my life. All the things; the tidying, finding clothes for the kids in this new season, adapting to the sudden swarm of mosquitos and bug bitten kids, feeding myself and the kids, taking time for me amidst this, trying to connect with my partner, navigating some pretty impactful challenges with one of my kids, endlessly trying to find childcare, figuring our finances, working on new offerings for my business, and just generally trying to have some semblance of feeling OK in it all. 💨🌪
You know when EVERYTHING just feels HARD? 😩
Why am I telling you all this?
Because, mama, I know you have most likely done like me, tried ALL THE THINGS to try and feel better. Because, like you, the mothers I work with are resourceful beings.
Resouceful like I tried being today.
I tried re-conceptualizing “the mess”, “lowering my expectations” (they are already pretty low these days), telling myself that this is temporary, doing some things to regulate my nervous system, nature time, putting my hands in the dirt (garden); you see where I am going…
But it was not helping.
Then, I gave myself a real dose of “this is fucking hard” and “this sucks”. I sat in it pretty much of the day. There were tears and still are. I went through my phase of “I should be able to use my resources to “get over this””. Hello old friend!
I have enough evidence of my 40+ years in this world and in my years of parenting that these difficult feelings will shift eventually but, you know what, it’s still tough. I am not yet done learning this apparently. And that’s ok.
BUT, you know what I didn’t do?
👉Try to fix everything in my life, pick an argument with my partner, turn to people in my life that I know will not be helpful and then just feel even worse, catastrophize, compare myself to others,
The things I had been very skilled in doing over my lifetime that I have moved beyond.
By the way, the ALL THE THINGS I mentioned trying earlier DO work, they just don’t take away the emotions that arise.
✨And that’s when it hit me! I am continuously trying to “work really hard” at using these tools because there was a part of my life that the feeling I experienced today completely overtook me and was present for the beginning years of my little ones’ life. And I know I don’t EVER want to go there again. And I won’t because of my continued journey and path and, most of all, my commitment to myself.
Your relationship with yourself if the only relationship that will span the length of your lifetime.
Let that sink in.
You are in relationship with yourself longer than you will EVER be in with anyone else.
Might as well befriend yourself and REALLY learn to partner with yourself so you can trust in yourself and rely on yourself in moments like these. You see, I have given myself the evidence through my own track record to myself that I will show up for myself in moments like these.
And showing up does not mean not struggling.
Today, for me, it meant being an observer and noticing familiarity in what I was experiencing and knowing that, despite how horrible it felt, that the light in my forward path is there. And with gentleness and love. And, with this, I am continuing to build self-trust.
🌱 So, mama, how are you showing yourself evidence of self-trust?
🌱 How do you show up for yourself?
🌱 What do you want to start doing differently so that you show yourself a stedfast commitment to you?
💥🔥Stay tuned early next week for a FREE mini-offering to do just this, help you connect with yourself in these moments that feel unbelievably hard.
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